It's Time For Me to Go....

Good Day people! Well, at long last, I’m finally ready to move on! And the good folks at Newgrange have graciously permitted me to have the honor of addressing the graduates and my fellow movers on and the rest of you all. I can safely say that, after 14 years at Newgrange, I am indeed both ready to move on and eager to make my moving on speech. Since it’s my last chance to speak, and your last opportunity to listen to me, I hope you do...

I think I was selected to give the senior comments because I’ve been around so long. I guess everyone thought I knew the graduating students a bit better than most teachers. Perhaps I do. I hope so, because I’ve decided to share my comments to them with you…not as witnesses to their message, but as active recipients of it. If I know the graduates as well as others think I do, I don’t think they’ll mind sharing.

This year’s speech will be different; there will be no music, no photos of the graduating seniors. Just me. What will I say?....well, pay attention because what I’m going to say is important, and it is the truth, and there will be a test on it later! So here goes….it's the Goodbye Gospel according to Mr. G. Because this is Newgrange, it begins with a book report.

A Reflection on John Irving’s Cider House Rules

My favorite book is Cider House Rules, by John Irving. The book has many heroic characters, but two stand out. The first is Dr Larch, an old curmudgeon who hates those who abuse power and wealth and works to undermine them through mysterious means at his place of residence and employment, a remote, run down orphanage in rural Maine. Each night he reads to the orphan boys and puts them to bed with his famous phrase, Good night you kings of Maine; Good night you princes of New England. And, every time a child is adopted, he tells those who remain and miss their adopted friend, Be happy for him, for he has found a home.

The second is an orphan named Homer Wells who seems to live in a simultaneous state of blissful unawareness and awe-filled appreciation of the world around him. Homer spends a great deal of time learning from Dr Larch and then trying to avoid Dr Larch’s plans for him and the orphanage. Even as he takes on some of Dr Larch’s responsibilities, like reading to the other orphans, he longs for a life away from the orphanage, and eventually Homer leaves.

The story elements which follow, from Dr Larch’s attempts to stay connected with Homer, to Homer’s experiences in another kind of life, lead us to consider John Irving’s underlying messages:

Anger is a fire, it will consume you if you get too close
Hatred is a poison, it destroys all who taste it
Unforeseen consequences are the rule, not the exception, in life

What does this have to do with Moving on Day? Like most of my lessons, the answer has three parts.

Students, and guests, think about the path which brought you here. As a Newgrange teacher, I know that the majority of students who enter these doors have had terrible, even traumatic school experiences. Humans who experience difficult or traumatic times can respond with denial, guilt, anger…even hatred. All of these responses are natural before finding a better emotional place; Newgrange has been that better place for you. Let go of any anger or hatred still with you that relates to your past learning history. You are now so much better equipped for success! Look forward to the challenges ahead instead of remaining stuck in the past; speak confidently of your hopes and dreams and do not poison the conversation with bitterness. Do not let anger consume you…make peace so that hatred will not destroy you; in peace you will find satisfaction, and you may find joy.

Second, be aware that life is not fair. Many of the events which happen to Dr Larch and Homer Wells grow out of choices they made, and sometimes the author’s plot lines tugged and pushed them into uncomfortable places. You have been gifted with learning styles that have made it a challenge for others to teach you, and perhaps even personalities which have made it difficult for others to understand you, or even like you. That may not seem fair. Still, what you experience is often a consequence of what you have done, especially if it was done without thinking or planning. Learn from your own actions and experiences; be aware of how you respond in times of stress; take responsibility for what you have done…it will help you remember that it is better to plant flowers than weeds.

Finally, it leads me to make the following 3 suggestions for future conduct. This is the part that relates to the test I mentioned earlier. The test is life, we all must take it; and, oddly, everyone receives their grade after passing.

Suggestion 1:When you have a choice…and you always do have a choice, be understanding.

You know the pain of being misunderstood and the satisfaction that follows from being understood. Take the time to hear what others are truly saying to you and about you…I guarantee it will help you be a better person. Then, take the knowledge and apply it to better understand others: not only will you learn more about the wider world’s mysteries and wonders, but you will sleep better, too.

Suggestion 2:When you have a choice…and you always do have a choice, be generous.

Kerry Nelson, a writer from Texas, wrote, “Do you know why it "feels good" to do something kind or thoughtful for someone else? Why it feels good when you've been generous or caring or kind? Because that is what you have been created to do, and when it happens, you are in tune with the universe.”

Ronan Tynan, the great Irish singer, who is also a medical doctor, stands six feet four on two artificial legs. When he was a child he had polio and he could not walk "normally". Because he wanted to be able to walk AND dance he chose to have his legs amputated. He also chose the longest artificial legs because he wanted to be tall, too. Tynan attributes his success in life to hearing his parents tell him “you are great” even when he felt crippled and small. Those three words (you are great) repeated to him daily enabled him to believe in himself, strive to do more, do better and to not give up. Because others were generous with three little words, he now shares his talents generously with the world.

Suggestion 3: When you have a choice…and you always do have a choice, do your best.

Some folks think that hard work is difficult, that dirty fingernails are disgusting, that sweat stinks, and that goofing off is fun. THEY ARE RIGHT! But it is also true that difficult work done well is rewarding, that real effort in anything worthwhile requires getting your hands and even your fingernails dirty, that a hot shower eases both the dirt and pain of a hard days work, and that goofing off is better after you have done your best.

And now, it’s time for me to go. But I’m not done. I’m a story teller, so humor me by letting me end with a story about the spring-time birds I see from my window-side desk at home….

After young birds learn to fly they follow their parents around on the ground. The parents must teach the young birds to feed themselves. As the young birds learn to hunt for bugs and berries, the parents keep feeding them. But, the parents stop feeding the youngsters when the young birds are capable of being on their own. The youngsters screech and complain… beaks open…demanding food, because it is easier to be fed than hunt for yourself, but they eventually get the message that they are ready to be independent and they fly away….they move on. Graduates and others, you are ready to move on from this place that has, I hope, opened your hearts and minds to the possibilities within each of you…that not only can you read, write, calculate and understand ideas and concepts but that there are ways that you can contribute to this world that are distinct and different and valuable, because each of us, you and I are unique, different and of value. And so, in the spirit of Dr Larch, that other old curmudgeon of Cider House Rules, I bid you farewell….

Goodbye you kings and queens of learning, goodbye you royalty of Newgrange….Be happy for yourselves, for you have found a home…the world is your home. You are capable. It is time. Fly!

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